Thursday, 23 June 2011

The Dreaded School Concert

Yesterday I was subjected to the torment of a School concert. My brother was playing the trumpet so naturally I went to support him but equally naturally, I wanted to kill myself through every performance that didn’t have him in it.
It was two hours long, sat on cold hard chairs listening to piece after piece of triviality and wishing that I could use the program to administer a paper cut straight to my jugular.

Wanna know why it was quite so bad…..because of the dreaded Recorder.

It is an instrument so devoid of musicality that it threatens the very existence of my ears. It is so pathetic that even if you blasted it with the turbo force of a Boeing 747’s engine, you would never be able to make a sound any louder than a squeak. This is an instrument that was made purely to produce endless amounts of spit, torture and a loss of faith in music
Honest to God, it is probably the worst sound in the world, besides improper uses of grammar and the Manchester accent.

But that is beside the point, the real reason behind this post is about the pressures of kids to perform like monkeys for a bored and exasperated audience. Parents seem to think that because they couldn’t amount to anything in their lives that they should push their children into taking up hobbies and activities that might, but probably won’t, result in a glittering and fulfilling career. Parents like to live through their children.

I was very blessed to have parents who allowed me to take up and drop whatever I wanted, although maybe they should have bullied me into keeping with something because I’m such a drop out. However, my brother is an amazing trumpet player and he is only 12 (he is going to be on the radio, 101.3fm at 1:40pm on Saturday). He likes playing and we don’t really force him to do it but my goodness, when you know your kid has got talents then YOU KNOW, and when your kid doesn’t have talent, EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS.

So parents, let’s not destroy the minds of others by subjecting them to little Robbie’s French horn or little Cindy’s playing of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd movement of Vivaldi on the violin. Let’s stand united and say “NO” to inadequacy and “YES” to less school performances with high suicide rates.

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