Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Home truths

In love....

Sometimes we are less like this:
"Oooh I love you, let me eat your face and rub my bristles against your sensitive skin so that you come out in a rash"
and more like this:
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"The best part of you was left running down your mother's leg when you were born".

It can be really damn difficult. Hubby and I live in a small flat, not much space and we are both used to being very very independent.

I've been at uni for 3 years so I'm used to looking after number one, me. He is used to living a bachelor life with his friends. Yet even with his independence, he is very much a typical man in that he wants to be the protector and I, like every modern woman, is so used to doing it on my own or through female intuition, that I forget to ask him for help or even worse....I ask my guy friends over him.

It's not that I don't value him, not that way at all but it's just that I don't feel that asking a friend for help is cheating, I still see that as "doing it my way" whereas, if I ask the Hubby for help, I'm sort of giving in. I want him to see that I am a strong woman and that I coped without him fine before we were married and that I am not a walk over.

Other times, I forget (genuinely, I have a poor memory) to tell him about my dreams and aspirations. for instance, I had an audition coming up and I told my guy friend because he was going to help me practice as he plays the piano. Part of me though, didn't want to tell the Hubby because I don't want to look like a hopeless case and nor did I want to fail at the audition and thus mar his "perfect" image of me.

*sigh*

Am I a hopeless case and when did I become such a silly cow?

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