Thursday, 25 August 2011

Coping with the trenches

On Tuesday I met with my favourite girlies over nachos and cocktails and we ranted about the unfortunate redundancy which was the cause for lots of giggling as we all realized....I have nothing left to lose. I can effectively do whatever the hell I want because I'm leaving anyway. When faced with this momentous realization, one can go a little insane. So I've got to try and control myself.

The first way to incorporate this new found freedom is to make reception duty, a tragically annoying occurrence that happens at random times during the week whereby I have to sit for the receptionist, more fun. It was suggested that I should always answer the phone by telling the caller a random fact. For example:

Ring, Ring,
Me: (*secret name*) Company hello. Did you know that a cat's urine glows in the dark when placed under a black light.
CallerDial Tone

If however, my random facts did not shake the caller from their reason for calling and they asked to speak to a certain person, for example, HR, then this would be the conversation:

Ring, Ring,
Me: (*) Company hello. Did you know that Humpty Dumpty is actually never referred to as an egg in the actual rhyme?
Caller: Er, okay. Can I speak to Montgomery in HR please.
Me: Of course, and could you graciously ask him if why I have no longer got a job.

I can see this going down well.

The next thing I aim to do is to start streaming movies and music for my own personal use which I shall promptly watch, through my rather loud speakers, whilst everyone is working.
I will start coming to work dressed as my favourite characters from the movies I love. Braveheart will be my first challenge.
I also feel like breaking the norm and wearing my underwear over my clothes.
As I need to start looking into my options, I have to be open to different career paths. I figure it wouldn't hurt to use company time to pursue my passion for percussion and opera singing. I would also like to practice Shakespearean sonnets whilst making use of random office props such as the fax machine or people's laptops.

Obviously, these are all ideas, except for reception duty, that I shall restrain from doing as I really am not wanting to burn all of my bridges and get deported back to the UK for being a complete loon.
However, in my head, these ideas sound like such good fun but I shall have to make do with just blogging about them. 


  1. LOL!!! I Would love to see u do the reception one!! - Anonymous from ur Building :D

  2. I love your attitude and this list is hilarious! They're going to be missing out on your creativity. Their loss!