Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Girl Rules

Women. A species that has, for centuries, perplexed men world wide and indeed women themselves. We're pretty amazing, the way we can multi-task, stay strong in the face of great adversity and handle periods and childbirth without falling on the floor and crying (not like some footballers). Over my few short years, I have seen quite a few myths/facts about women and I thought it would be interesting to look at a few.

1) Friends don't date friends exes. Now I totally understand this if the guy was a douche and cheated or abused your friend, no one should want to touch that. However, it's different if your friend dumbed the guy just because she was bored or if it was an amicable split then, the rules should change. If your friend doesn't want him, why shouldnt someone else?
2) Girls go to the bathroom together I can only put this down to the fact that we like company. You'll notice that a place can be totally empty but get to the girls bathroom and it's like there has been a sale in YDE. When standing in a toilet queue, one can get bored, we need a distraction. Plus, after a few drinks, it can help to get a second perspective on how far away the toilet actually is. You might just need that extra hand to keep you steady.
3) Chocolate makes us happy. This is just like stating that the world is round, it is a fact. Chocolate lets off endorphins and those make you feel good. Beer makes guys happy although, chocolate is far better for you, something about antioxidants....that's what I like to tell myself when in scoffing milky bars in my face.
4) We believe in fairy tales. Why on earth would anyone want to go through life not expecting or desiring a happy ending? How depressing. Men have a habit of being rational and realistic to a fault whilst us girls like to be creative. Why shouldn't our Prince come, why can't we go to Paris fashion week, why can't we suddenly become superheroes???
5) We need clothes and shoes. Fashion is an outward expression of an inner personality. It's a way of saying hi to the world just like a Car is an expression for a guy although, a lot of us like cars too. As for having more than one pair of shoes, well that's just healthy, who wants to have one smelly pair of shoes? And I know for a fact, if we didn't have all the clothes we have, guys would complain that we aren't making an effort.
6) Makeup is essential. I swear you could ask most ladies and they would tell you that they can't possibly go out of the house without makeup because they would look like an extra from A zombie flick. In all truth, we just look like a slightly less fresh and flawless version of our made up selves but honestly, we won't believe you if you tell us that. The only make up I ever wear is mascara and it has to be waterproof because when I laugh too much I end up crying hysterically and then I look like a panda, just less cute and cuddly. I would probably wear more makeup but I'm too lazy and I don't, um, actually know how to really apply foundation. Gulp.

I would love to hear about some more female facts that you have discovered. I'll try and cover them in my next blog post too.

Tuesday, 29 November 2011


Pinned Image

The problem with Twilight is...everything. I fail to comprehend how someone can write such utter tripe and have the world go crazy for it. Perhaps that is jealousy speaking because I wrote nonsense like that when I was 12 and I obviously should have got it published.

Yesterday I watched Breaking Dawn and spent the majority of it wanting to throw my popcorn at the screen. I am truly dumbfounded that someone could invent a character like Bella. If you haven't watched it yet then don't read anymore because I am prepared to rant.

Bella has a permanent look which is a mix between wanting to vomit and cry hysterically.
Edward's top lip is constantly curled as if he has just smelt something nasty.
Jacob is an arrogant penis who doesn't understand that Bella is now married and he should really learn how to walk without that weird limp as though he has been anally probed.

However, I think my main concern is with the twisted 3 way relationship that is just so messed up. A one point in the movie, Bella tells Jake (in front of her husband) that she is now complete because he is here. Really? Edward, you need to take that giant tampon out and grow a pair. That isn't the worse part, Bella wants to choose the baby name based on a combination of Ed and Jake's names. What the hell? Who writes this stuff?
Is that what we are wanting young girls all over the world to aspire to, to have a husband and a bit on the side. What's more, Bella is the most miserable person ever thought of yet she has two guys fighting over her.....where did I go wrong? Obviously the trick is to appear suicidal and depressed and guys will be falling at your feet.

What are everyone's thoughts, because I know there are fans out there.

Monday, 28 November 2011

You won't feel a thing

Sometimes, a song is all you need to explain how you're feeling. I think we all need an anthem at some point in our lives and this one would be mine.

I've been kicked right down
I've been spat in the face
I've been pulled, weighed downTo the lowest place.
I've been lied to, shamed
I have been disgraced
Been ex-communicated from every holy place
I've been beat up and robbed, I've been left for dead, for the way I look For the things I said

When trouble thinks it's found us, 
The world falls down around us 
I promise baby you won't ever, you won't ever feel a thing

Cause I will take it on the chin for you
So lay your cuts and bruises over my skin
I promise you won't feel a thing
Cause everything the world could throw, I'll stand in front. 
I'll take the blow for you.
For you.

Monday, 21 November 2011

The Windy City

Pinned Image

I know some of the funniest people. Period. Even after the stress of leaving my job, they still know how to give me the giggles even though many of our topics of conversation leave much to be desired.
For instance, I know a wonderful old lady who honestly should have been a comedian. She'll take any awkward moment and inject fun into it. The majority of our amusing conversations are along these lines:

Sitting down together, she leans over towards me and whispers,
Old Dear: "Have you ever had Pomegranate juice?
Me: Yes, why?
OD: Well, I had a glass today and I dare not cough let alone breathe for fear of something escaping me.

She looked so sincere that I couldn't stop laughing. On another occasion,

Me: I can't believe Christmas is just around the corner. Hey, are you feeling alright, you're looking a little pale.
OD: "I'm sorry love, I've got to go. What I thought was just wind, has escalated into something bigger."

As vulgar as this may sound, she keeps me sane. When you get to a certain age, there are no inhibitions and no pretences. Just straight honest facts. It's a great metaphor for life. Wouldn't it be so much simpler if people were honest about their feelings and their needs? So for this week, I'm going to start being more open and honest with myself and with those around me. Sometimes it is good to be strong and tough, other times, it is good to be vulnerable.

Vintage Wedding dresses

I'm in love with Stephanie James couture. Based in Newport CA, the clothing line is a beautiful vintage mix and the items are so refreshingly fun and unique. I've always had a thing for 40's/50's style clothing because of the elegance and feminine qualities. What are your thoughts?

I love the lace top.


This is the Gwen dress, isn't it stunning!

This is Greta - I just love the swing factor

Images found here:

Your potential

Pinned Image

I'm in a bit of a fix, I don't feel as though I'm kicking enough ass and because of my pride, I want to prove that I can succeed at anything you throw at me. Yet, having woken up to glorious sunshine this morning and a small lie-in, I feel a strong surge of positivity spreading through me like a friendly disease....such as tonsillitis, which allows you to eat masses of ice cream and not feel bad....that may just be me. Anyway, I have compiled a few commandments for facing this day and future days and how you and I can survive in positions which really do take the cake.

1) Never aim to reach the potential set for you by others. Always exceed their expectations because only you know what you are capable of.
2) If you love something that much then do it however, if you love singing but are completely tone deaf and sound like someone is gnawing on your windpipe when you blast those notes then please, keep those sounds to yourself. Or go on Idols next year
3) I say this now from experiencing it first hand, don't let frightened little men make you believe that you are not equal to them in brain power. Joan of Arc didn't make history by leaving it up to the men and Marie Curie didn't sit on the sidelines and let her husband do all the work.
4) If you you don't believe in yourself then no one else, apart from maybe your parents, will. Show them that even though they may drag you down, they will never extinguish your internal spark.
5) Set mini goals for yourself each day. I am currently trying to write my first novel and want to write 500-1000 words a day. Try and work towards something awesome.
6) Laugh at your own mistakes first and then move on quickly. Don't let it fester in your mind that you, perfect and wonderful you, had a small hiccup.
7) Occasionally scream.
8) Award yourself when you do something that blows your own mind and that could be a little thing such as, you finally know how to monitor the CTR on Google Adwords or perhaps you did something huge such as signing on a huge client. Whatever it is, applaud and award.
9) And finally, because my own words fail me sometimes....Don't stop believing!

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Walking on Sunshine

Pinned Image

And believe me, I am smiling madly at the moment. I've realised, that since I left my ex-job, the weather has been pretty damn amazing. I'm not one for signs but, when I can get my flip flops out and stick Hawaiian-esq flowers in my hair, I am one happy bunny. The weather obviously agrees with me.
What is weird though, is that one of my best friends still works at the place I left and it is so weird  not speaking to her everyday. I took round a bottle of bubbly last night to her and we toasted our new future. There are always casualties in every battle but our friendship won't be one of them.
So right now, I am enjoying the break. My health has been awesome, I might try going back to eating like a normal person, and I'm not feeling belittled or trodden on.
I just want to say another big thank you to all of you. You keep me sane.

Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Flying free

Pinned Image
Yesterday I handed in my resignation from a job that yes, as you might have read, has been causing me a few health issues and humorous grievances. My thoughts are a mixture of relief mingled with regret over some of the great relationships that have started up there. I have had the pleasure of being with some amazing people as well as the test of being with some who are not. It's a daunting prospect being out on your ass again but I have so much support for the decision that it is hard to think otherwise. If your heart is not truly in something then it is detrimental to your very being to continue putting yourself in a position that causes you grief.

So what now? Well, I find something that I truly love, with people I truly respect and who understand me and I work on myself. There is a lot I could alter and I'm willing to go on this journey.

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

To write, or not to write

Pinned Image

I am forever reminded to watch what I say and to keep a lid on my feelings. Sometimes, I should heed these warnings as it has come to my attention that free speech does not exist however, if I was to do that, I would be going against the very being that I am, I'd be forfeiting the imaginative nature that I've blessed with. True, sometimes I can be a little graphic and I often type before I speak which sometimes I feel bad about however, I can also be honest and tell the truth in a humorous light, something that some find a little too tough to swallow.

I won't stop writing. I won't stop airing my emotions/feelings/thoughts on my blog because that is who I am. A lot of what I say is fictional and so it is up to others to take it how they will but I have those who are positive in their comments and those are who I'm focusing on anyway.

So, viva the writer within me and viva all my readers who have continued to be supportive and awesome. I take my hat off to you and raise a glass of bubbly in your honor.

Friday, 11 November 2011

It's the weekend!


Thank goodness it's that time again. What are every bodies plans for the weekend? I'm hoping to achieve all/some of the following...

1) Get my fingers dirty in the garden and check on my veggies. 
2) Keep up my new fitness regime which is killing my thighs. You know that feeling when you come off a particularly hard session on the cross trainer and when you walk, you feel as though you're legs are wobbling all over the place. It makes walking down stairs hilariously painful.
3) I want to paint my nails. I'm envious of all the pretty colours out there and my nails seriously need a coat of industrial paint.
4) Finish watching the Office UK season 6. I know I'm behind but I've been savouring it. I love the series so much. Jim Halpert is *insert swoon-worthy adjective*.
5) Take some seriously artistic photos.
6) Bathe in sunlight and try on my honeymoon bikini (must see if it still fits).
7) Convert Mr H into a Mumford & Sons lover.
8) Work on my Christmas list.

Anything else I should add?

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Things I've learnt from Pinterest

I'm beginning to think that Pinterest has started to become more than an addiction, perhaps even a religion. I get such amazing inspiration from it, I send Mr H endless reams of images of pets I'd like, humorous emails (which he never laughs at), holiday destinations and decor ideas. I think it's killing off my brain cells which must mean that I need to use it more so I can keep learning that;

Colin Firth is still so very delicious. A brilliant actor and a sexy man to boot.
Pinned Image

Even though I can't eat apples or lactose, I still like to drool over recipes and this simple
yet yummy looking treat is no exception. I find the best recipes on Pinterest.
Pinned Image

Chocolate really does cure almost anything. I can only eat dark 85% + chocolate
because I can't have milk but I'm still happy with that.
Pinned Image

D.I.Y just keeps getting easier.
I suggested this idea to Mr H. He simply shrugged and said "that's nice'. 
I know when I've been defeated.
Pinned Image

Moustaches have never been more in. I've seen so many parties with moustache props and greeting cards too. Currently, Mr H is trying out for the Movember Olympics and he is doing rather well.
Pinned Image

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Movember issues

Pinned Image

My husband looks good, there is no denying that however, it's all very well to grow some facial hair but:

1) Spooning now becomes a form of torture. Imagine having a bunch of needles jabbing you in the shoulder. Ya, that's what it feels like when I get a cuddle.
2) Kissing has become a very delicate affair. I end up trying to push my lips our as far as possible so that Mr H's whiskers don't tickle my nose. I look like a duck.
3) Hang on...are those ginger hairs?
4) I'm going through tubes of lip gloss at an alarming rate as it all disappears into the forest on Mr H's face.
5) I now look as though I have meningitis and applying layers of face cream just gives the illusion of grease and sweat.

Movember really isn't working for me guys.

Monday, 7 November 2011

What they don't tell you about men

I've been sharing a closely confined space with my husband for just other 8 months now. It has been a serious learning curve for both of us. We're very independent and I'm incredibly stroppy so you can imagine some of the arguments. I'd like to just state though that most of those arguments really aren't my fault but are rather a bi-product of the nuances of living with a man. They really don't warn you about this stuff:

1) Men don't understand cleanliness unless it is related directly to their bodies. For instance, Mr H is a shower freak but give him a mop and he starts gulping like a fish and breaking out in a cold sweat. Ask him to sweep and holy cow we've got paralysis. However, and I'm quick to add this, he does the garbage, cleans the bathroom like a pro and the balcony is so neat and tidy I could eat off the tiles.
2) I occasionally leave my half drunk cups of green tea around. Mr H occasionally doesn't put a new toilet roll by the loo. Which is worse, may I ask, a tea bag or the awkward, pants around ankles, hobble to the cupboard?
3) The second shelf of our fridge is purely for beers. I once tried to place some chocolate there. Once.
4) Mr H likes to fall asleep in front of the TV. I like to fall asleep in bed, like a normal person. This leads to Mr H staggering into bed way after I have fallen into a blissful slumber which is then rudely disturbed by the removal of my duvet and the sudden appearance of an extra head on MY pillow.
5) Meat. Need I say more....perhaps I should, people may get the wrong idea. Ok, our freezer is a shrine to about 5 different dead animals. Meat plays a huge role in most guy's lives.
6) Where once I had complete reign to watch all the trashy TV I liked (Gossip Girl included), I now sit through Golf tournaments and programs on how things are made. Do I really need to know how they make tin cans?
7) Braai time. An almost religious encounter for men. I'm quite happy to indulge in this as long as there is a salad somewhere.
8) They don't half complain about 'space'. So what if I have more shelves than you and the cupboard houses more of my clothes. I have more items than you therefore I should get more space than you. It's just common sense. I swear, if I gave Mr H more room he would literally have nothing to fill it with and he'd just be getting a kick from staring at white empty shelving. That totally goes against my ecological nature.

Friday, 4 November 2011

The Harbour House

When something is for free, you don't question it. You embrace it with open arms and an empty stomach which is what Anuschka (from the The Pitch Pit) and I did last night.
We were invited to the launch of the new restaurant on the Waterfront, The Harbour House. You may have heard the name, they also have a restaurant in Kalk Bay and both are stunning in decor.

I just love the wood beams and the white palette. It was simple yet elegant and I'm determined to hold my birthday there next year.

As this was a cocktail party, there was of course a cocktail to start with. A delightful concoction of sugar, cherry, JC Le Roux Brut and a tot of brandy. A spicy mix.

Then there was of course the canapes. I get all giggly and girly when I see them. There is something so cute about mini foods. The choice was immense. King prawns in an avocado and sweet chili dip. Lamb kofta on a bed of cucumber dip. Fresh Oysters (no expense spared). Sushi. Steak, pepper and mushroom kebabs....I could go on.

Let me not forget to mention the wine choice. I may be a bit of a wine snob. I like to throw wine pairing evenings and I do try and write for The Grape Teaser wine blog (I've been slack of late), so I get quite excited when I'm drinking the good stuff. The wine last night was superb! Diemersfontein Pinotage and a very delicious John X Merriman bordeaux blend by Rustenberg had me grinning madly.

Hmmm...on the road to being sloshed.

 The restaurant has an upstairs bar and balcony complete with mini sushi kitchen which just churned out platefuls of the stuff .
The vibe was chilled with everyone enjoying the views, the beverages and the great food. 

  At around 9, they brought out calamari bowls with Queen prawns (to die for) and then eventually the pudding....and you know my obsession with puddings.

I believe at this point I may have been a tiny bit tiddly and so I had about 12 of the truffles. The waiters were very nice about it and kept topping up my champagne glass with Graham Beck Brut.

Truffle balls on a bed of butterscotch sauce

It was indeed, one of the best Cocktail parties I have ever been to in terms of food and ambiance. It wasn't trying to be pretentious but just displaying it's culinary wares to an adoring crowd. This restaurant is a must for discerning taste buds.

All the pictures were taken and edited by the wonderful Anuschka. Isn't she amazing.

Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Miss B

There can be no denying it, Leighton Meester has a really cushy life. She is living out the dreams of millions of girls worldwide by playing a character that has an inexhaustibly beautiful wardrobe, a large family fortune and hot guys throwing themselves at her. I grow green with envy. I am determined to one day walk around New York dressed entirely in the image of Miss Waldorf and casually push away the drooling men who fall at my feet....perhaps that is a little too ridiculous. It might be best just to sigh over these darling outfits, I mean, come on, those shoes are crying to be worn by me.

Stylish turn: Leighton Meester once again stepped out as her stylish alter-ego Blair Waldorf, on the set of her hit show in New York today

Dream in cream: The actress also looked stylish in a cream woolen coat as she filmed in the Big Apple last week