Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Why my life might rock as a reality TV show

It's 3:35am and the sound of whining and guttural sobs as woken me from a fitful sleep. Checking to see if it isn't Mr H watching a Gladiator again, I realize that I am in my parents house, babysitting my 12 and 10 yr old siblings for 2 weeks and Mr H has left me for a work trip to the southern hemisphere. The cries are coming from our new puppy.
 Drowsy, headachey and covered in mosquito bites that look like mole hills, I trip towards the kitchen and find myself staring into the devoted face of Ferdinand our 3 month Labrador puppy.
"Mummy" he sobs, "why did you leave me here? Why aren't I good enough to sleep at your feet?"
Gulping with shame, and feeling the lure of his big brown eyes, I lean down to pat him and there I see it, the
faint hint of a smile. I freeze but already I know what's happened. slowly I straighten up and drop my head to take in the brown smear of Ferdy's doing, lovingly squished under my left foot whilst my right foot resides in the warmth of a yellow puddle.
"You should have let me sleep with you." He says and then stretches himself onto him mat and closes his
What happens now is a string of curses, a cry from my sister who wakes up to see a bleary eyed monster storming around the house smelling like a sewer, and a puppy who finds himself locked outside.
I'd like to say that mishaps of this magnitude are uncommon. I'd like to say that I live a charmed life but where would the fun be in that? Since moving into our house in December, we've had electricity cuts, near electrocutions, burst pipes, mice, dead mice, a new puppy who finds great pleasure in eating his own poop and then licking me in the face and a dog that has taken a liking to sleeping on the couch whenever she gets her period.
Whether or not this would make excellent television is another thing but when I think of the struggles of the Kardashians - 'Oh my gosh, I think ate over 400 calories today, I'm such a beast' - perhaps people might enjoy watching the trials and ridiculous mishaps of a Brit in Cape Town. It may take the focus of other people's miserable lives to see me struggle to dress a 10 year old who needs a bigger bra than I do! Oh, and as I type this, Ferdy has just 'offloaded' in my mum's Kitchen.

1 comment:

  1. Fun fun and more fun .I am laughing its so funny but true.