Tuesday, 31 July 2012

Conversations with my Dog

What happens when you spend an afternoon with your dogs? Mind games. We now have 3 dogs in the house as we're looking after our parents pooch for a while. His name is Ben and if he was a person he would dress in silk gowns and cravats with a cigar dangling danergously from his lips. He would also be caught reclining in a leather wingback chair with a glass of scotch. I think I'm going into too much detail now. Our other dogs have simarly crazy human personas; Ferdi is like an over-eager soldier type that gets a kick outta escaping locked rooms, scaling high walls and pushing furtinure together so that he can get to his dog food. He also ate my lounge pants today which almost made me cry. The thing is, I'm pretty sure that these 3 dogs only act up when I'm alone. They pull stunts and then look at me as if I dreamt it all up.
Here's a few incidents of the day starting with spotting Mia rolling in the flowers.

Me: Mia get out of the flower bed!
Mia: Make me woman.
Me: Mia I mean it, move!
Mia: What you gonna do about it, your husband isn't here?

At this stage I resorted to the angry, bulging eyes, run towards her with my arms flailing like a banshee. She did move, but only to another equally annoying spot on a bush.

Me: Mia, you can't be there
Ben: I see you're in a bit of pickle there ol' girl. Let me tell you something, those Pedigrees can be a bit of a handful. Let me show them who is Boss and wee on your chairs.
Mia: Ben! Gross, that is disgusting. I'm so annoyed with you. Ew Ferdi, stop trying to lick it up! I am being serious. Don't make me get the hose out.
All Dogs cease activity and look at me as if I'm a mental person

The day got weirder with my parent's dog deciding to sneak into the house and watch me on the toilet. That is something I won't be able to get rid of ever, the image of two dark eyes staring at me from between a crack in the door.

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