Wednesday, 22 August 2012



I used to, still do, keep a lot of my past and my true feelings away from Mr H.  I justify it in my mind by thinking that my past will be too much for him to handle; he won't understand it, he'll think of me differently and he just isn't equipped or experienced to quite accept it. However, I'm slowly learning that it doesn't matter if he doesn't understand, what matters is that he knows. He knows what me fears are, what my dreams are and how I've survived the dark. He knows when and why I am crying and why such a little small thing can make me blow up in the biggest way.

It's all about trust. Trust that what you tell your partner will not be laughed at or disregarded. Trust that when you let down your guard for that split second, the result will be loving and comforting and not destructive.
I find that we tend to close ourselves off increasingly more these days as we survive in a technological world that keeps our emotions locked behind a screen. Society is also always telling us that to let go, to show emotion is a sign of weakness; remain hard-hearted and you will be better off in the long run. That might work for a few years but we all need someone to talk to. We all need a place to hang our weary and dejected head and say, with complete ease, 'I really had a crummy day and I don't think I can face waking up tomorrow.'

Don't forgo the trust. Don't minimize it or think it not to be important. It's worth more than the physical and the emotional. It ties your heart strings and without it, you'll end up falling away.

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