Tuesday, 23 October 2012


She stares out over the bay in Hermanus her lips barely moving but I know she is whispering her goodbyes. One more piece of South Africa that will be confined to a memory. She turns around and smiles brightly at me and I look away to keep the tears from free-falling. My Mum is leaving me, taking my sister and flying to the UK to live there for the imminent future. My Father and Brother leave on the 27th and then who knows what will happen. If it wasn't for Mr H, I would be under the duvet drinking cheap vodka and eating mass amounts of chocolate.....that isn't such a bad idea though.

Saturday was my last full day with my Mum and Sister and we spent it in Hermanus eating fish and chips and getting ridiculously excited anytime we saw a speck in the water. It was a beautiful day. Some might even say magical but it still didn't numb the acute sense of loss.

I've been given the prep. talks "Oh now you have an excuse to visit", "At least you can chat via skype" and,"Just think, you have a place to stay when you go on holiday". Yes, because that is the extent of my worries; God forbid I should have to travel to Europe and pay for accommodation. No, the extent of my pain lies in not seeing them. Relying on technology to bridge the gap between real-life contact. Having to hear about my siblings growing up rather than seeing it happen first hand.

I don't want people giving me their best wishes and their words of advice. I don't want to be pitied....much. Okay, now I sound like a bitter old hag. I mean, thank you for caring and the love but do allow me to wallow in some self-pity and depression before trying to feed me your 'all wounds heal with time' mantra.

This is why this week you will find me staring blankly into space. Forgetting the most basic of things, looking longingly at photos of Ol' Blighty and missing my favourite females in the World.

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