Wednesday, 26 September 2012

When Labradors eat poo...and other horrible stories

Yes, I am a dog person. It hasn't always been this way. I used to just be a me person but then I got married and am now an 'our' person. 
Getting married came with a dog, (I'm not referring to my husband) Mia, who I have introduced to you before and she is our 3-year old black Labrador. She is beautiful. We drove down from Johannesburg with her when she was a wee puppy and she kept Mr H company whilst I was in England.
Then came Ferdi, our golden Labrador and the naughtiest creature in the world. He eats through my magazines. Digs holes. Jumps walls and eats poo. Not just his own poo but Mia's too. It's disgusting, it's foul. It freaks me out because then he comes bounding over to me wanting to lick my feet and hands and I want to just vomit on his head. He'd probably eat that too. The thing is, it's become such a norm that Mr H and I have found the positives in it: 1) It saves us having to clean the garden. He's like our very own vacuum cleaner. And 2) He gets a mid-morning snack.
I know, you're reading this and judging me but honestly guys, we have tried everything. We feed him super nice puppy food. We yell at him when he starts slinking over to a pile of warm steaming turd but it is all to no avail. In the end, we turn our shameful gaze away.
What's more, is that now we're looking after my parent's dog as they have moved back to the UK and he is the king of silent yet deadly farts. Anything from rotten cabbage to putrid eggs have risen out of that ass and eroded our nasal passages. He even has these shifty side-eyes and half-smile that makes me wanna smother him.
(Shifty side-eyes)

But, I'm a dog person and dog people do this because frankly, we're mad in the head.

Photos taken by me

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