Wednesday, 21 November 2012

The rules of going to dinner parties


1) Tell your host before-hand of the food you don’t or can’t eat. And by before-hand, I mean a week in advance. There is nothing more annoying to a host than preparing a dinner and being told, “I don’t eat lamb because it’s a baby sheep’ just before you serve it.
2) Take something with you. This isn’t always necessary but I think it’s lovely when people show up with a bottle of something quaffable, unless of course it’s a box wine or something smelling of drain cleaner. I am a wine snob.
3) Don’t offer to help with the cooking. If you want to help, give the chef a back rub, offer to clean or wash something but putting your hands on other people’s cooking endeavors can make them very territorial.
4) Try the food before you cover it in salt and pepper. Don't assume your hosts cooking is tasteless but if it does need some seasoning, do it surreptitiously.
5) Don't eat too much but don't eat too little. Pigging out and then leaning back on your chair to belch loudly is disgusting. Playing with your food on the plate and only eating teeny tiny mouthfuls is only allowed if you are an ant, or a ridiculously thin Supermodel.
6) Don't stay too long. There is nothing worse than, after spending the day cleaning and cooking, being stuck with chatty guests until after midnight. Exhaustion can bring out the ugly side in people.

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